Dance Monkey Dance!

I go on craigslist a lot to look for small jobs under the “talent” headline (I know what you're thinking, "Are you allowed to search under 'talent' if you have none?" You may be right, but Craig still lets me), and I’ve come across some fantastic ad headlines. The following are my favorites so far:

-CALLING ALL ASIANS!!!

(Calling a more offensive way to solicit minorities!!!  Maybe next time try "Ching Chang Chung--Me Love You Long Time!)

-Casting for 40 dogs

(Did not apply to this because I only have 36 dogs)

-Zombie Burlesque Shoot Needs Model

(More obscure fetish, "Zombie Burlesque" or "Muppet Burlesque?")

-Talented 6-9 year old boy to portray young rapper

(6 year olds make the best rappers. Instead of "bitches" and "guns" you get "apple juice" and "Osh Kosh B' Fuckin Gosh")

-Putting together a Blues/Rock band. You down?

(No, just no)

-Who wants to be a Sugar Psycho Girl?

(Who wants to "audition" in the back of a windowless van and walk away with a rash?)

-Radio Program Looking for our Jersey Bitch Queen

(Who isn't looking for their Jersey Bitch Queen? I've been trying to get one since 1999. They are harder to find than a listenable Nickelback song)

-Dance in a gorilla costume on video and send to me, $15 OBO

(This entire headline/statement just fascinates me...and intrigues me...maybe I'll visit the costume shop tomorrow and see what comes of this...)

Yes, I applied for all of these. I'm still in the running for Zombie Burlesque but sadly, I was turned down for "Sugar Psycho Girl."

I'll come back and add more to this post as I come across some more ridiculous headlines.

Snake Alley Song of the Day: Straylight Run - For the Best