Sunday, February 19, 2012

Recreation. Leisure. Excellence.

I recently found out the program I received my degree in at Florida State will no longer be offered. The prestigious Recreation & Leisure program will see its last graduates this spring…quite sad. I learned so much from that program, including:

-How to properly funnel a beer
-How to budget by drinking heavily before going to bars
-How to stay organized (Keep a schedule of which parties to attend on certain nights, etc)
-The effects of a “gravity bong”
-When to rotate to get an even tan at the pool
-Proper arc on your beer pong shot

And much much more.

The Rec & Leisure program at FSU spawned many scholastic superstars and taught its graduates how to thrive at the next level. The curriculum taught me many things, not always academic, and not always valuable…but certainly ALWAYS fun. In memoriam of a legendary program and a few years of hazy, crazy fun, I present a pictorial remembrance, chronicling this program’s pursuit of academic excellence.

1. Study Group


2. Outdoor Pursuits


3. Nutrition and Proper Hydration






4. Cultural Studies




5. Environmental Conservation



6. Athletics




R.I.P. R&L
No one really knows - 2012

Your legacy will live on.

Snake Alley Song of the Day: Billy Joel - Only The Good Die Young


Friday, February 10, 2012

Movie Foreplay

I recently went to the movies for the first time in a long time. Saw a great movie, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Very sad, very effective.  Good stuff. Anywho, setting aside the fact that I paid more to get in there than I do for a week’s worth of groceries (I eat strictly ramen and gum. Very strenuous diet of broth and chewing. Good for the mandibles), I was amazed at how generic and predictable the previews have become. Create a good trailer, and the movie can be (and usually is) crap. Here is my simple 5 step formula for creating a money-making trailer in today’s movie industry.
Romantic comedy or drama:
1. Hot guy and hot girl meet
2. Something is wrong with one of them, or one of them does something wrong
3. They must fight for each other
4. At some point they’re either wet, nearly naked, or both
5. A song by The Fray plays in the background
Boom. Done. Call it a day and collect your paycheck. It doesn’t matter if the guy is Channing Tatum or Paul Walker and conveys emotion like a bag of bricks (except the bag of bricks in the 1987 heartfelt classic “Love in a Sack,” that bag was touching…I cried), he’s hot, she’s hot, and The Fray seals the deal.
Comedy:
1. Two buddies who are just so hilariously opposite in personality and appearance interact
2. Introduce some wacky characters or guest stars
3. Show one or two of them falling down or getting hit by something
4. Don’t hint at any plot, because there’s probably no hint of a plot
5. Show an animal or small child doing something funny
6. A song by The Fray plays in the background
Action/Adventure:
1. Introduce muscular lead character with a noticeable lack of acting skills, masked by a large amount of veins
2. Explosions!
3. Include a car chase, and most likely a car crash
4. Throw in a hot chick, or several hot chicks, to rub lead character’s muscles and make out with him
5. Something’s on fire, or someone’s running through fire
6. Explosions!
7. Gunfighting and dueling with bad guys
8. Explosions!
9. A oddly out of place song by The Fray plays in the background
Thriller:
1. Ominous lighting and fearful teenagers
2. Skinny, attractive white people on vacation
3. Creepy voice-over dude
4. Quick bursts of action, including breasts of some sort (a scare in the shower, killer lurking in the bushes peering into the bedroom, etc)
5. An unbelievably out of place song by The Fray playing in the background
Silent Film:
1. A song by The Fray written out in captions
Pretty simple ingredients will make any movie trailer a success and lure people in. Whether the movie is any good doesn’t matter, they’ve already got your 84 dollars (price of ticket, plus gallon jug of Coke).
Snake Alley Song of the Day: The Fray - The Fighter