A Day In The Life: Charlie "Brown" Craney

"Fry Day"

From the perspective of Charlie Craney, Manchester Terrier

Ahh, Fry Day. Feels the same as yesterday, it’ll probably feel the same as tomorrow. Good stuff. That guy is bouncing around to all that noise again.  He doesn’t seem to be making any of the noise, it’s coming from that box, but he prances about as if he is doing it himself. I have yet to figure this out. The toothbrush he is holding up to his mouth doesn’t make sense either. Things are weird.

Oh good, he’s done, time for breakfast! Holy Shit! Breakfast!

Oh man that was good. I can’t believe I ate that so fast. Sure it was the same as yesterday. Same as everyday for the past couple years in fact, but I don’t care, it’s just so fucking good! Ah! Breakfast! Uh-oh, now I have to poop. Hey, dude, take me out. Hey, dumbass, quit lying around and take me out. I swear to God if I could make a fist I’d hit you right in the face. Yes! He’s got the leash. Thanks dad! I love you.

               

Ooh, great smells outside today, great smells. K time to think Charles, we need a plan of attack. I say we go for posts, bushes, trees, anything that looks like it needs a good pissing.  Checkmate you little bush, you’re asking for it! Jesus! Was that a hummingbird or a vampire bat! That’s scary stuff man!

Ok, back inside. Feeling good. Time for some good ole thinkin. Hmm, I wonder what the socio-economic effects of a global economy would be if only…what? What’s that dad? Dude speak English, I have no idea what you are saying when you talk gibberish. You know those aren’t words right? Are you illiterate? Ahhh that feels good, yep that’s the spot. Alright nap time, something please wake me up in seven hours.

Wow, great nap. Hey I need to take a dump on something then maybe grab some dinner. Where did that guy go? Where does he go every day? I’ve been outside, I mean the bushes and grass are nice, but I can’t see spending a huge chunk of time there.

Oh sweet! A sock! Fuck yes dude. Let's bury this in the corner of the couch...gonna want to get some good chewing in later.

Alright, time to run in circles for 30 minutes...gotta keep my athletic figure after that giant old moldy muffin I got my paws on earlier.

Oh good he’s back, time to jump on him, I need to make sure he sees me and realizes I’m in need of a big ole' dump. 

Hmm, outside is different. It’s dark. Strange. Still have yet to figure out how the massive animals on the street are moving so fast. Must be excited about something.

Ahh, alright, back inside; ready to sleep for another 12 hours. Maybe if I dig at this spot on the bed it will become more comfortable. Yep, that did the trick. My foot just needs to be licked for ten minutes here before I hit the hay. I’ll start on those memoirs tomorrow.

What the FUCK was that sound outside?

Snake Alley Song of the Day: The Hold Steady - Hurricane J