Five new potential bowls are petitioning for acceptance into
the already crowded Bowl Season. I know what you’re thinking: “Between the
Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl, the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, the Meineke Car Care
Bowl, and the Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl, I just don’t think there’s room for more
ridiculously named bowls in my bowl-watching calendar.” It’s a valid point, but money talks…and
apparently the ratings and ticket sales for the San Diego County Credit Union
Poinsettia Bowl far outweigh the alternative: pre-season college field hockey.
Some are questioning the need for more bowls. There are
already 35 bowls, some pitting 6-6 teams against each other. But rather than
question mediocrity, these new potential bowls celebrate it. Here’s a look at
the candidates:
Candidate 1:
Trojan “Stiff D(Fense) Bowl.”
Location:
Dickeyville, Wisconsin.
Pitch: The
Stiff D(Fense) Bowl will pit one of the nation’s stiffest defenses vs. one of
the most lubricated offensive teams for a friction-filled fracas.
Candidate 2:
The Greater Des Moines Waste Management “Rubbish Bowl.”
Location:
Des Moines, Iowa.
Pitch: A
“parody” bowl, this cleverly-sponsored bowl will pit the two worst teams in
Division I football against each other in a hilarious celebration of incompetence.
Candidate 3:
The Rascal Scooters “Geriatric Bowl.”
Location: Boca
Raton, Florida.
Pitch: This bowl
is a matchup of the two teams in college football with the most Seniors.
Providing graduating Seniors with one last chance for gridiron glory, the Geriatric
Bowl exclusively plays Frank Sinatra on the loudspeakers and will be over by
noon.
Candidate 4:
The Alaskan Tourism Board “Barrow Bowl.”
Location:
Barrow, Alaska.
Pitch: In
the ultimate display of senseless irony, the Barrow Bowl will match up two
deserving “warm weather” teams in the nation’s northernmost city, Barrow,
Alaska in late December.
Candidate 5:
The O’Reilly Auto Parts in association with PetSmart, Linens N’ Things, and
Home Depot “Corporate Sponsorship Bowl,” brought to you by Toys ‘R Us and
Wendy’s.
Location: Rotating
locations based on corporate bidding.
Pitch: This
is actually the new proposed name for the BCS National Championship Game.
If you’re a
fan of a never-ending bowl season, keep an eye out for one of these new bowls
that may be popping up (not a Stiff D(fense) Bowl pun) sometime in the near
future. In the meantime, set those DVR’s…you won’t want to miss a minute of the
Franklin Mortgage American Music City Bowl!
No comments:
Post a Comment